If you're ever wondering why your relationship with your partner isn't where it should be:  remember that when people feel good about themselves, they'll likely reciprocate it.  Don't run to the gym and get in shape (okay . . . do that, but don't do just that).  Don't buy flowers.  Make your partner feel beautiful, valuable, virile, strong, sexy, attractive, wanted, important, intelligent, etc.  (actions always speak louder than words)  Make that person feel like they did when you first fell in love.  

The strongest way to endear yourself to someone is to express a need for their help and to make them feel needed.  The greatest way to build a friendship is to accept what a person can give and demand that they give it (within reason). This is complicated because this little bit of heuristics seems like it should be well known and well understood.  But we get it wrong so often.